You should probably aim to be more tolerant of others (or more tolerable yourself)

I think it's OK to have high standards about anything, as long as you're not hypocritical. It's almost always bad to apply standards to others in your life that you don't apply to yourself. It's also a very easy thing to do.

A commonly quoted example is the asshole driver. If you make a mistake on the road and annoy someone else, you probably immediately think a few defensive thoughts like "I had a bad day", "I'm tired", "I just didn't see him", "I usually don't do this".

If someone else does something annoying on the road to you, you assume its their whole personality. "What an asshole!" "I can't believe other people are like this!"

That's an extreme example, from an interaction where you know yourself well and about your current situation, but you don't know the other guy at all or anything about their situation. But the same thing applies when talking to friends, colleagues, or family members. You don't know everything about them, or all of the mental context they're carrying when they do something that annoys or offends you.

Most people, most of the time, do not have a good balance of being tolerable and tolerant. Most people think that they themselves are more reasonable than average, while thinking most other people are less reasonable than average. The truth is that insight is hard and it's safer to assume that you don't have more than the average amount (as everyone believes that they do, which is impossible).

If you agree that the more tolerable (i.e. perfect) you are, the more you're allowed to be annoyed or offended by others' transgressions, and if you agree that you probably haven't found the perfect balance, then there are two ways to fix this. Either become more tolerable yourself (hard) or become more tolerant of others (also hard, but less so).

One way to do this is to pay attention to the self-defensive thoughts your brain comes up with for your own perceived transgressions. If you feel guilty about doing or saying something (or if someone else calls you out for it), your brain automatically generates defensive explanations (like those in the driver example above). Once you've noticed these automatic, subconscious excuses that are easy to apply to yourself, it's easier to start manually and consciously creating them for others. "This person said something offensive to me, but they probably didn't mean it to come out like that" or "They're probably having a bad day", or "Probably I did something annoying or offensive first without noticing it and this is an automatic retaliation" are some useful generic ones, but there are an infinite number of possibilities given a specific situation.

Some might argue that this strategy leads you to be a pushover or allows other people to "walk all over you". That's a valid counter argument, and as with everything it's very context dependent, and finding a balance is probably important.

But by default, you should probably assume that you haven't found the correct balance of tolerant and tolerable.

You should probably aim to be more tolerant.

You might also want to aim to be more tolerable.